Reasons Not To Choose Adoption
It would make me feel too sad.
Adoption offers a future for your child that you can feel good about for the rest of your life. You should know that adoption usually does not cause long term grief
for the birth mother. Birth mothers who place their children for adoption have overall greater satisfaction in their lives, are more optimistic about the future
and suffer less from depression. Sadness is a real issue but is less intense as time goes on, and you are confident your baby is well cared for.
I should take responsibility for my own actions.
This is an admirable attitude but making a plan for adoption is taking responsibility. This includes your financial picture, educational plans, future relationships, commitment to and from the birth father and long-term chances for successful parenting. Choosing a family that will be able to giveyour child a secure, stable up bring is totally caring on your part. What could be more responsible?
I would rather have an abortion.
The effects of abortion have long lasting physical and emotional consequences. You still have to accept that you were pregnant, deal with your separation from the child, and experience the loss. Abortion may seem like a quick and logical solution, but the outcome will not be easy.
The baby’s father doesn’t like the idea of adoption.
Making an adoption plan is best for the birth father that is not ready or able to offer the necessary financial and emotional support for his child. He should support the birth mother in whatever decision she makes, whether it is parenting or adoption. His concerns will be addressed by the agency.
In my family, if you get pregnant you keep the baby.
It is your decision to make. The way it has always been done in your family may not be the right way for you. It takes courage to break from family expectations, but if they truly care about you they will want what is best for you and your baby. If you think adoption would give undeniable needs to your baby of nurturing, safety, setting of limits and structure a stable family setting then adoption will give these things to your child.
My friends think that I should keep the baby.
It is wonderful to have good friends and no doubt they are sincere, but when they pressure you to keep the baby, you must think what is really best for you and your child. They most likely will not share paychecks with you, will not promise to always live nearby and not give up a date with a boyfriend to baby-sit so you can go out. Input from friends should not be very influential as you consider this important decision. They are not committed to helping you raise your child.
I want someone to love me.
It is tempting to see a baby as someone who could give you love. But this is backwards thinking. Parenting is about focusing on the child’s needs and giving freely without expectation of receiving anything back. Yes, children often love in return, but their role in life is not to make their mother feel special, as any two year old having a tantrum will show you.
Your careful, thoughtful choice will show that you truly do want what is best for your baby.